Tag Archives: friends

Losing a friend to suicide over $2000

3 Nov

I am absolutely devastated at the fact that a very dear friend of mine committed suicide.  There is a saying that suicide is the most selfish act anyone can do, but, I don’t personally think that’s true.  I think suicide is the act of someone so hopeless that there isn’t a person they can turn to in the world that would actually help them.  If you disagree with me.  Here is the real scenario of my friend.

She got herself into a real financial mess, and, was living pay check to pay check.  She got behind in rent and other bills, and, owed about $2000, she was facing eviction and no place to go, she lost her job, she had no income.  She called everyone she knew, but, no one would help her, regretfully, not even me.  Had I known that $2000 would have saved her life, I would have given her that and more.

So the next time someone asks you for financial help whether it is $5 or $5000 please stop and think before you flat out turn that person down.  Would you want to see your friend or family member kill themselves for getting into debt for a lousy $2000?  Wouldn’t you do everything to help to prevent this from happening?

My grief has no boundaries right now.  I am angry at myself and I am hurt and confused, and, I have to learn to accept that I contributed to her decision that life was no longer worth living.  That she had no true friends who came through for her in her time of need.  My life is for ever changed, I will never be the same.  The lesson I learned will never leave me, and, I will never be so quick to tell someone no.

If this post changes just one persons mind besides my own then I will feel like I have done something worthwhile in telling this story.  If you are thinking about suicide please take every step not to do and call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline  1-800-273-8255 for help.

I will never be the same. Never.  My friend will live on in my mind and heart, and, may God forgive me for failing the friendship test in the worst possible manner.  I was wrong and I know it.

Fall 2015 in NYC: What’s not to love

23 Oct

Well, yes, I’ve been a bad girl.  I haven’t kept up my New Year’s resolution to be more faithful about posting in my blog.  Shame on me, but, I do have a busy life, and, it can be hard to find the time and energy to post.  Regardless, I am going to make more of an effort.  I know I say that every single time, but, I do mean it.  I just have to execute it!

As Meg Ryan says in “You’ve Got Mail” don’t you love Fall?  Actually the exact quote is “Don’t you love New York in the Fall?”  Gary and I have so much going on from what promises to be a fantastic Halloween party at our friend Amanda Cumming‘s place to getting ready for Thanksgiving and Christmas, and, New Year’s Eve.  Oh sure, some cynic out there will say the leaves in Central Park haven’t changed yet, and, the weather’s been too warm, but, it doesn’t change what time of year it is and that’s the part to focus on.  I mean, sure, I’d love to see more explosive Fall colors in the trees and foliage, but, and, admittedly, it is a bit bizarre to see people ice skating at Rockefeller Center with short sleeve shirts but, it is such a busy and fun time of year, I don’t know why I used to hate it so much.

Rockefeller+Center+Ice+Skating+Rink+Open+Winter+xP6KhX3Q32zx

Maybe things will start feeling more like Fall next weekend.  After all, what’s Halloween without the crunch, crunch, crunch of leaves as you walk on the sidewalk?  And, with the opening of the Bryant Park Holiday Village next Friday (October 30th) and the New York Marathon on Sunday, November 1st.  Maybe the weather will catch up with the calendar and things will start to feel more like true Fall.

Mirror, Mirror On The Wall

3 Dec

It’s a rainy and unusually slow day at work for me in New York so I decided to blow the dust off my blog here and actually make an entry.  The funny thing is the thing that led me to this entry is something I blogged about last January.  It’s basically about how self centered people are on social media, and, how sofasomeone I once thought was great and even admired lost much of her appeal after reading her Facebook page and her blog droning on and on about “her”.  And, admittedly, yes, Facebook and blogs are a place to share your thoughts and happenings with your friends and online friends.  The thing about this person is that she was kind of in the limelight for a brief spell, and, she continues to harp on the subjects of the past – old boyfriends, ex husband, things that happened 20 years ago or even longer ago.  She rarely mentions what’s happening now (other than to promote her business, which, frankly, is pretty crappy, but, she’s managing to make a living at it, so more power to her.)

Anyhow, as I said, today has been usually slow so I did resort to going through Facebook, and, just for the heck of it, I went to this person’s page.  Almost a year later and nothing has changed.  It’s all about her, and, the point I’m trying to make here is I’m kicking myself for ever thinking this person was worth being friends with and that I thought she had some really cool things going on in her life.  At one time it was true, but, not now.  And, it just makes me so grateful that I’m not going down that same path.

The one thing Gary (my lovable husband) does is keep me focused on the here and now, and, the future.  He always tells me we can’t change the past, and, there is no point in dwelling on what we can’t change.  And, he’s right.  After all this past year we bought a summer/weekend house in the Hamptons, we’re taking two W991569-3ONDERFUL vacations this year. (Meaning 2015) – we’re going back to Paris to finish a vacation that was interrupted, and, then we’re heading to Germany for an entire month.  So lots of things to look forward to including Christmas which I can’t believe is almost here.

I mean, honestly, where did this year go?  It’s December 3rd!  And, we were going to go to the Rockefeller Center tree lighting tonight, but, there weather doesn’t seem to be clearing up as the weatherman was saying, so, we’re going with Plan B, and, having friends over to our place to watch the lighting, and, we’re making a small party of out it.  And, that’s one thing that this person I’m referring to never does – she never discusses what’s happening now or how she turned something that was a bit of a downer into something more positive, and, I guess what I’m trying to say is that I’m growing up, and, you know what?  I like it! 😀  And, I am so happy just to be me, and, have a life worth writing about in the moment instead of harping on things from my past.

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