Tag Archives: Suicide

Losing a friend to suicide over $2000

3 Nov

I am absolutely devastated at the fact that a very dear friend of mine committed suicide.  There is a saying that suicide is the most selfish act anyone can do, but, I don’t personally think that’s true.  I think suicide is the act of someone so hopeless that there isn’t a person they can turn to in the world that would actually help them.  If you disagree with me.  Here is the real scenario of my friend.

She got herself into a real financial mess, and, was living pay check to pay check.  She got behind in rent and other bills, and, owed about $2000, she was facing eviction and no place to go, she lost her job, she had no income.  She called everyone she knew, but, no one would help her, regretfully, not even me.  Had I known that $2000 would have saved her life, I would have given her that and more.

So the next time someone asks you for financial help whether it is $5 or $5000 please stop and think before you flat out turn that person down.  Would you want to see your friend or family member kill themselves for getting into debt for a lousy $2000?  Wouldn’t you do everything to help to prevent this from happening?

My grief has no boundaries right now.  I am angry at myself and I am hurt and confused, and, I have to learn to accept that I contributed to her decision that life was no longer worth living.  That she had no true friends who came through for her in her time of need.  My life is for ever changed, I will never be the same.  The lesson I learned will never leave me, and, I will never be so quick to tell someone no.

If this post changes just one persons mind besides my own then I will feel like I have done something worthwhile in telling this story.  If you are thinking about suicide please take every step not to do and call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline  1-800-273-8255 for help.

I will never be the same. Never.  My friend will live on in my mind and heart, and, may God forgive me for failing the friendship test in the worst possible manner.  I was wrong and I know it.

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